What The Cashier Probaly Should Have Not Said To Two Men Buying Groceries Together In Greenwich Village

an observation

It's almost ten p.m. and I'm barely home and entirely starving, but I just had an experience that I couldn't invent if I tried, so I need to capture it before my sieve-brain does its thing.

I just got home from loading up on groceries at Trader Joe's at Union Square. After the typical wait in the hefty weekend line, I pull up to my spot in the dense bay of cashiers, and shortly thereafter the spot to my left opens up and a cart pulls in. The guy pushing it asks if the cart can be split into two orders, which for some reason caught my ear, and I look over at them. Two very average-looking, relatively well-kempt guys, early forties.

Now, to preface and give the cashier credit, she was looking down at the cart overflowing with what was almost exclusively sparkling water and purple orchids (Does this sound like a cringe-worthy stereotype? Yes. Am I embellishing this at all? No. ). So she, characteristically pierced, inked, and skinny-jeaned TJ's employee that she is, is busying herself with how to bag all of this. After they ask if they can pay on two bills, she says- "Sure, as long as it's not delivery;" -downbeat, looks up, cocks head, gesturing toward cart and customers- "top and bottom?"

And to those of us with reasonable hearing within a ten-foot radius, all operations seemed to screech to a movie-style, record-scratch halt, there in the pandemonium of the earth's busiest Trader Joe's. Not sure about everyone else's visible reaction as I was trying to play it cool, but my jaw did drop and I did silently giggle while looking out of the corner of my eye at the situation. After a couple stunned downbeats, and the realization that she was inquiring how to split the bill for a cart with both racks in use, the quicker one of the two good naturedly gave a small smile and said it was a "personal question."

And, Scene.