twilight zone

Not that it really came out of the blue, but my professional life has turned haywire with a sudden jerky acceleration of a downward cycle of my office. Bad economy combined with a tremendous flux of people and work here put the design office I began working in eight months ago into a spin at pretty much the same time I started. There were maybe two awesome morale-building events the month I started at this fancy-looking penthouse office with a stunning view, and then things started to turn sour.

So here we are eight months later, three rounds of layoffs and twenty-five less people later, and we're starving in the drought. In a couple weeks more than half of us will be on reduced salaries. Not all, and not equitably, which has caused stress. I am lucky enough to be in the first round and have my salary reduced to nearly half... 24 hours. Ouch.

I'm getting resourceful and contacting my firm's offices in other cities in an effort to take control of my own destiny. Normally I'm a bit of a passive individual, but I can't make it long on half pay in Manhattan. I wasn't that flush to begin with, with rent that's half my salary.

I have moments of frustration, but I maintain that this is all an opportunity. I may rewrite my identity and destiny if the circumstances bring major change. Part of me thinks that I have a lot more in me than I'm using right now; I have the potential to be a modern renaissance girl if I ever develop the gumption and plan to try it. Writing, art, craft, botany, community service, education, and environmental awareness are all things I'm pretty passionate about and could love working more on if the opportunity arose.

If it all comes down to it, I still love Seattle. Going back at the end of the summer would feel like the experience was brought to a premature end, but it's been pretty great as it is.

One should love and embrace what they've had for what it was, what one has currently for what it is and may become, and anticipate all that one may have in the future. It makes this unsure period kind of exhilarating. Mystery writing, museum-guiding, city-blogging, garden-designing me, here I come...