cats are uninterested in reason

observations.

things my cat wants to do:

1. tell you about it right now
2. drink from bathtub faucet
3. knock pen off of table
4. eat feathered earring
5. eat feathered barrette
6. eat the plant
7. dance on chest while you try to sleep
8. eat through breadbag and crust of bread until realizing it's actually just bread inside (once a month)
9. individually remove books from shelf with paw to see if there's room behind to hide (no)
10. pose in the window for passers-by
11. sleep on couch
12. sleep on bed
13. sleep on chair
14. sleep in bathtub
15. race down hallway
16. drag and drop stick at feet for fetching (like a canine)
17. get stuck in pocket-door closet when presence inside undiscovered
18. push mouse under open door to other side. WHERE DID IT GO!?!! oh thank god- just over there.
19. escape into apartment building hallway to become freaked out and disoriented 3.5 seconds later, returning to apartment (once a week)
20. eat food. no, not that food.

things my cat does not want to do

1. wear collar
2. lie where you want it to
3. go in the pet carrier
4. travel by car
5. travel by plane
6. be touched by children
7. see children
8. meet new adults
9. meet new animals
10. be asked to leave the couch
11. be asked to leave the suitcase
12. be asked to leave the shower
13. be in the shower when it is turned on
14. have edward-scissor-nails trimmed
15. stop licking the other cat's butt
16. look at you for the photo
17. take the pill
18. take the pill crushed in food
19. take the pill while wrapped up in blanket like burrito, mouth pried open with both hands, growling and spitting
20. ever stop sprinkling beautiful hairs all over creation