hello goodbye

Spring is creeping forth... the weather hit sixty degrees over the weekend and the city seemed to take a deep breath and in its exhale, express a volume of people from its confines that I didn't realize existed. The sidewalks were congested with every sort of imaginable personality, many of them with alter personalities in canine form. There are an amazing amount of people with dogs (albeit smaller, as a mean) in this city, especially given the size homes we have.

The weather this week is set to be in the forties and somewhat grey and rainy... perfect for the seattlite, especially after the streak of days in the teens and tens. as the weather transforms from bitterly icy toward balmy, I can feel change on so many levels. I've gotten news from Seattle in the past few days, some surprising, some interesting, and some downright shocking- a dear friend has ended a long relationship; a former coworker has committed suicide. The managing principal in my office has resigned and they are replacing him with a her, and she's incredible; a visionary, insightful and a breath of fresh air in the office I felt to be so much a boys' club since I started. she speaks of the "seismic change" occurring in the world and country and even especially new york, and how it's an opportunity. She is the Femme-Obama.

In this "time of uncertainty," where my office has laid off nearly a third of its staff and may have to do so again, and people across the country are without jobs and homes and major corporations are disappearing into the annals of history, we need reassurance. Though I wasn't surprised to see the economy dive down to even out after years of exponential growth, I've been relatively optimistic as to its impacts. Though change is almost always hard somehow, it's essential and needed to keep momentum. However, in this town, where so many are so focused on personal and financial success and the cost of staying afloat is so high, sometimes it's natural to get caught up in the concerns of how all the change may negatively impact us. It's very refreshing to hear someone speak of how these changes may positively impact us, and reshape our work and the world as we know it for the better.

Lately things have been constantly inconstant- less coworkers, different coworkers; people getting engaged to start new lives together, people breaking up to start new lives on their own; many babies born, people passing. In the early part of today I took the first test in a series of five intensive licensure exams (our equivalent of the bar exam); later today I was stuck in the back of the office scanning dozens and dozens of large-format drawing edits and found myself questioning my chosen career path.

But you know, I dig it all. I love it. I'm not sure if it's the place I am physically, or mentally, but the concept of endless possibility is completely invigorating to me right now. Start working partially within the company as a firm photographer? maybe. Return to the northwest to an old flame? maybe. Move to France? maybe... become an environmental artist?...redirect my career path toward writing?.... find someone to have kids and have a calm life with?... yeah, maybe that too, eventually. Bring it.

Bring the fresh spring breezes finding their way to the city- I am enjoying my newly-perceived status as a pawn of fate. Bring them and I'll tumble along like the foam thrust across the sand by the breaking surf.

listening: Black Keys' Attack and Release