crybaby

I am so overwhelmed with moving. I tend to do this to myself every time, pushing things until the last minute and not taking enough time off to do it sanely. Per usual, I'm doing it alone, not very good at delegating or asking for help.

The physical exhaustion of doing it is one thing. But now I'm layering on top of that the emotional stress of saying goodbye to people I love. And I value my people so deeply, I'm so sentimental, that it's really, really hard for me to do it. I just had a weekend full of dramatic goodbyes- saying goodbye to someone I'd had an intimate relationship with, and also to a huge group of friends at a wedding, with the bride being my own good friend. I feel like my default is to cry right now.

I'm also feeling unsettled by the house in state of disarray. It's adding another layer to things to have me, very defined by and in tune with my environment, exhausted and stressed and in a torn-up home and no new one to look forward to.

I'm trying to envision the endless awesome options awaiting me, but right now I just want to draw all my people in close to me and hug them. Or cry some more and go to sleep.