happiness is...

...there are many corny bookmarks and bumpers out there. and many generally horrible ones, as well. but today i had a moment when i was thinking something to the effect of "happiness is..."

happiness is having lots of people who care about you gathered around.

In this time as I am preparing to move, I am orchestrating getting together with many different sets of friends, and beginning to say goodbye. And though it is kind of stressful, trying to take care of things (and extensively procrastinate) and see everyone, it is making me very happy.

As the weather is cooling, and leaves fall, and we are baking and steeping spicy things, having friends gather inside to appreciate spending time together... it's lovely. It's lovely and flattering and a warm feeling to have people you love come together to remind you they love you too. It's making me sentimental, all of the "you'll be missed" comments I'm getting. Because I've been thinking about how much I'll miss everyone, too, and reciprocation is nice.

Traveler though I may be/ aspire to be, I have avoided moving out of Seattle for many years now because I value the place, and my loved ones here, too much. I finally felt I was in the right spot to leave them for a while; but I think we generally take for granted our support systems. There is nothing that makes me happier than spending time with people I enjoy in a relaxed, intimate setting. Give me a few drinks, good music, and a good conversation with friends over any organized activity any day.

I've been in Seattle eight years now, and have amassed a huge web of people, I'm realizing. I almost feel like a socialite as I'm attempting to organize meeting up before I go in two weeks. I have quite a few spheres of friends, between hometown and university and work and former coworkers and neighbors, etc... and they are truly all important to me. It's such a blessing, really, to have so many people who have been there, in fun and even not-fun times, and still want to be there.

What's keeping me from losing it, in saying all these goodbyes, is the concept that I'll be back. I'll be back a couple of times a year to visit, and conceptually to live again in a few years. Also helpful is that I have a network already where I'm headed of people I'm close to. And I like to live life with fond memories floating about, in black and white as though filmed with a filter for a drama, with a soundtrack of my favorite eclectic music.

The moving is exciting every time I think about it, but the moving on makes me somewhat melancholy. I hope that everyone knows how much I value them, and that I welcome them to visit or come back into my life anytime, anywhere, whether you've been my friend for ten years or ten weeks.

And maybe I'll see you at Christmas. :)

Sarkozy and Merkel in Paris

Scenario 1
Nicolas: Angela, you should have seen this carp my people caught me off the coast of Brittany. I saw it with my own eyes from the deck. I almost had to put down my Beaujolais Grand Cru and go down and have a look. My chef prepared it in a beurre blanc....
Angela: But you wouldn't beleive this trout I caught in Bayern; it was at least this big... I had a hard time wrestling it in and I lost it before I could knock it out.

Scenario 2
Nicolas: We need so much money to get ourselves out of this foutu bordel. Maybe even this much.
Angela: Ach, no, it's more like this much. We're screwed.

Scenario 3
Nicolas: Don't even try and say you didn't kiss Bush's ass all the way into this mess.
Angela: Like you didn't bring him a wheel of Beaufort this big when you visited him at Kennebunkport. Don't start with me, Sarkozy.

done and done

I'm downright elated... I've ironed out the details of my transfer, and I've got a decent salary, with moving expenses paid. I'm exactly three weeks from my departure to NYC.

I was pretty freaked out, navigating the attempt at a counter-offer, but it turned out well in the end after two days of anxious waiting. I'm a pleaser who wants to keep everyone happy and tends to undervalue themself, so one can imagine how uncomfortable I was trying to pretend to drive a hard/smooth business line. But I did my research and pushed myself, and it paid off, and I feel all the much stronger. Not that I got some incredibly lucrative offer, but it's a good deal for the modestly-compensated industry of architecture. Ladies, they say that less than ten percent of us attempt to negotiate salary, whereas they estimate that two-thirds of men do. Know what you're worth! Ask for it!

I've spent all evening reveling with friends and now should do some dishes and sleep. At midnight. But with the hours I've been keeping lately, this shouldn't come as surprising.

Onward and upward! I'm doing a little dance on my way to the dish soap.

adult imposters

A good friend of mine and I were talking recently when we both admitted that in some respects, our lives feel like a sham. Mid-twenties and learning the ropes of adulthood, we were sitting chatting over cocktails, talking about our place in the world. She's getting married, I'm making a big life and career move, and we had gone shopping for work clothes. We were talking about tailored clothes, and all of a sudden we both came to the conclusion that we still feel like children going through the motions that seem to be right for adults, and that is required by our lives to get along as we are expected.

We are sloppy, quirky fools just trying to keep it together enough to not be found out by everyone around us... the truth being that we are shams. Runny-nosed, sloppy-penmanshipped, spaghetti-on-your-chin imposters of grown-ups. But I guess maybe that's what everyone is; just getting along in this world for the first time? Some of us have varying degrees of external grace, perhaps...and confidence. With confidence, you can probably make spaghetti sauce look good.

are you on my side?

my absolute favorite song of the moment. why did it take me so long to listen to much Rogue Wave?

love 'em.

autumn

When summer took its leave, I was initially quite sad. I was a summer baby; I love summer. Who doesn't, though, really?

We've had a week of consistently grey weather now, however, and I'm taking to it again. A very autumnal windstorm passed through on Saturday (no rain, with leaves flying all directions, and comical wind-whipped trees resisting the gusts). It's raining now, and there's something nice and cozy about all of this.

This is the weather that inspires introspection and cynicism, and heavy consumption of heavy coffee or alcoholic beverages to pass the time spent taking shelter. It also provides validation to put on a scarf, head inside, light a spicy candle, make a hot drink, and watch a movie. If you're really on a roll, you can put on Nat King Cole and have a warm cookie.

Leaves are red and orange and tumbling over the threshold on the way back in from outside, and I don't mind it or the drizzle...yet. I might be singing a different song though when I have to move in this in a few weeks, but I'll remain optimistic as long as I can.

nyc minus 23 days

aka No Sleep Till Brooklyn...

I am beginning to realize that I have no idea how I'm going to liquidate my Seattle existence in 23 days, of which all of my weekends until then are already partly spoken-for by a friend's wedding preparations. Yikes.

I have a one-bedroom apartment thick with eight years of life in this city, and a broken automobile. Double yikes.

My relationships with the recycling bin, the Goodwill, and my parents' basements are going to get a little tighter.

I also have two cats which have no idea what's coming... oh man. Here goes!

oh, and to be clear

I'M OFFICIALLY MOVING TO NEW YORK!

yippeeeee!

weirdest day ever

or, "excuse me, is this your life? because it doesn't look like mine."

today, I:

1. Woke up really late, at ten after nine.
2. Woke up to gross, grey rain after many warm, sunny days.
3. Got a call at work offering me a potentially perfect job in our New York office.
4. Was asked to pose as a community planner at a planning commission meeting in Puyallup by my boss and coworker, as they couldn't attend.
5. Attended said meeting, which took me two hours in traffic to arrive at, and ended up being a 4-hour, disastrous stress-fest in which everyone was angry and no one got anything done, and my company's work wasn't even presented due to four hours of heated discussion of Transfer of Development rights and property equity, of which I know next to nothing about.
6. Made the hour-long drive back in 40 minutes, though in a delirious state of low blood sugar due to only eating a small sandwich at lunch. Due to lack of options, purchased McDonald's food on Broad across the street from the Seattle Center at the end of my drive.
7. Actually ate McDonald's food.
8. Workday ended at 11pm.

Ain't no thang.

Design On the Cheap

a cool slideshow of cheap, creative design from the New York Times-